Sometimes motherhood can feel like an island, especially if you are a new mom with a lot of childless friends. You may feel that your new mommy lifestyle doesn’t fit in with their lifestyle and want to find some other moms to hang out with. However, making new friends as an adult can be really hard, specifically when it comes to finding other moms that you have something in common with besides being moms. So here are some great tips for how you can get out there and meet some new mommy friends.
Put Yourself Out There
Approach meeting moms the way you’d approach dating. Simply that you have to first put yourself out there to meet new people. There are tons of other moms who feel just like you and you never know where or when you will meet them. So get out of the house, take a walk, go to the park with your kids, and just get out into the world. Anywhere you can take your kids you’re likely to meet other moms like you. Also, remember making new mom friends is a numbers game. The more people you meet, the more likely you’ll be able to find that great group of friends. So half the battle is just getting out there and meeting people however you can.
Look For Opportunities To Meet People
In order to find other moms that share the same interests, values, and hobbies as you, you should look for opportunities to do things that you enjoy where you can meet other moms. Do you like reading? Join a book club. Do you like art? Take art classes or volunteer at the museum. Do you love sports? Go to your children’s sports games. Try to find some activities in your community that you enjoy that are either kid or mom friendly and you’ll be sure to have some opportunities to meet some other moms.
Make The First Move
Meeting other moms is not like dating though, you can make the first move without all the fears of rejection and stigmas attached. If you’re out and you meet a great mom and you think you could be friends, don’t let the opportunity pass you by. Ask her for her contact information. If you feel awkward about it, just explain to her your situation, that you think she’s nice, and you really want to spend time with other moms. You’ll be surprised how many other moms feel exactly the same way you do and will be just as excited to make a new friend. If you are still worried about rejection, simply offer her your contact information. It’s much less pressure that way.
Let Your Children Be Your Wingman
If you are shy or nervous about approaching another mom, let your kid be your wingman. Children are naturals at making new friends, so take your kid to the park or a community center to play with other children. Then once you see your kid playing with another child, find their mom. If your kids are playing together, you have a really great excuse to talk to their mother. So go up to her and start a conversation. Open with something simple and positive like “Aren’t they cute playing together?” or “Your son is really good at sharing.” If you open with a compliment about her child, she’ll know you are friendly and from there conversation will be sure to flow naturally.
Another way your children can be your wingman, is by making friends with their friends’ moms. If your children are getting along, ask their friend’s mom if she’d like to join you on a fun play date with both the kids. You can even do this with a group of your children’s friends’ moms, so you have an opportunity to meet and interact with a few different moms to see if there are any potential friends. You can even offer to host something or take them all to a fun family activity like the zoo or a children’s museum.
Social Networking For Moms
If you have exhausted all the opportunities to meet cool moms in real life, but are still not having any luck, consider meeting moms online.
There are several great platforms for moms to meet online now. For example there is Hello Mamas (http://hellomamas.com), which basically works like an online dating site. Moms will answer questions about themselves, then be paired with like-minded, local moms.
There are also smartphone apps like MomCo (http://momcoapp.com) which help connect locals moms with one another through a variety of great social activities. Finally, there’s app groups like Smile Mom (http://smile.co) where local moms can share parenting advice, recipes, and craft ideas as a way to connect and make new friends.
Another way to use social networks to meet moms is to scan through your current social network on Facebook, Twitter, or Linked In. Maybe your immediate friends circle isn’t full of moms, but maybe an old friend from high school or a former coworker you liked is now a mom too. This is a great way to connect with other moms since you already know you like them. All that’s left to do at that point is reach out to them to get together with the kids.
Plan A Perfect Play Date
Once you’ve met another mom, you need to make sure there’s a possibility for a real friendship. So make sure you plan your play date perfectly. Do something with activities that everyone can participate in, that way you have something fun to naturally trigger conversation. Once everyone is feeling comfortable, incorporate some adults-only time, like during naps or while your children play together. This way you can have a chance to really talk and get to know each other to find out if you have more in common than just being moms. If the play date goes successfully, then plan something fun for just the adults so you can develop the friendship further without your children. From there, if it’s a right match, your friendship should take off naturally.
Meeting other moms can be a challenge. However, if you put yourself out there, approach other moms, and host some fun play dates, you’ll be able to make some mom friends in no time. Just remember that most moms feel the same way, so it will be easier to connect than you think.