The pressures of motherhood can be overwhelming, and we try so hard to always keep up a perfect appearance. Some of the most important feelings we have are never communicated out loud. However, these feelings are very common and every mom can relate to them, even if they are never said.
Here are six things every mom thinks, but is too afraid to say, that is, until now:
1. “I really miss my old life.”
Motherhood can be overwhelming and sometimes we miss the days where we didn’t have stains on our clothes, piles of toys strewn all over the floor, and children running around the house. Sometimes we just miss our old, childless lives. The time before we had kids, before the endless responsibilities, back when we could be lazy and make selfish decisions.
This is not to say that we don’t love our children or hate motherhood, but sometimes when things get really overwhelming, we may daydream about what we’d be doing if we still had our old lives. It’s okay to miss your old life; in fact it can help keep you in touch with the part of yourself that isn’t solely identified as being a mom.
2. “I wish people would stop judging me.”
We get it from everyone. When we’re out and our children have a fit, strangers give us judgmental looks. When we interact with friends and family members who tell us how to raise our children better. Even when we turn on the television and hear reports about how single mothers are bad or how working mothers are bad or how stay at home mothers are bad. The judgments are everywhere and it’s hard enough to feel confident that you are doing a good job without all the constant negativity.
So sometimes we just wish people would stop judging us for our parenting. We just want to say to other people that they need to mind their own business. We are doing a great job and that our children are amazing, regardless of what they say.
3. “Sometimes my kid can be really embarrassing.”
We love our children and at the end of the day, they will always be perfect in our eyes. Though sometimes when they do something, whether they act up in public, break the rules at school, or just do something gross, they can be really embarrassing. We invest a lot of our self worth in the behavior and success of our children, so when they make mistakes it feels like we have done something wrong.
However, we’d never admit aloud our child has embarrassed us because we always want to stay positive and encouraging no matter what our child has done. It’s okay though to admit your child has done something that has embarrassed you. Making mistakes does not mean that your child is any less perfect.
4. “Being a mom is hard.”
Some days when the kids are screaming, the laundry is piled up, and you realize you can’t remember the last time you had a moment alone, motherhood seems impossible. We try our best and do everything we can to ensure our kids are healthy, safe, and happy, but it’s hard. Motherhood is very hard.
However, we never want to admit it. It’s almost like admitting that if motherhood is hard it will somehow make us feel weak or that we have failed. Yet, motherhood is hard and admitting that it is hard is incredibly empowering. It says I’ve taken on this difficult task and I’m doing it. Not only that but we are strong for taking on the role of motherhood.
5. “I feel like I really need help.”
We always feel like we have to do everything ourselves. If we ask for help we have somehow failed our children, our families, and even ourselves. However, motherhood is hard, there are a lot of things to constantly juggle. Between household chores, work, errands, and knowing what to do so your kids always feel safe and loved, we can become overwhelmed and need help.
Though we never say it, we should. We should ask for help from our families, our partners, and even our friends. Sometimes it’s okay to ask for help, especially since most people in your life want to help. So don’t ever be afraid to reach out and say that you need help. We all need a little help from time to time.
6. “I’m doing a great job.”
Sometimes we can’t help but look at our wonderful children and beam with pride. Other times we have a moment where we’re caught up at work, the house is clean, and dinner is cooked, and we think how we really killed it today. Unfortunately these moments are too far and few in between.
Most moms think the same thing, so don’t be afraid to say them out loud. It can be very empowering to admit how you are really feeling and it doesn’t mean that you are doing any less of a job. So the next time you are thinking something important, don’t be afraid to say it!
This is the one thing we need to never be afraid to say to ourselves. We should say it out loud and as often as possible. So say it now because it’s true. You are doing a great job.